I like to go fast. I mean fast. I like to be going fast in everything I do. And, I like to know exactly how fast I’m going. I run like like a cheetah, drive like a mad man, swim like a fish, and bike like I have testicular cancer. So naturally, I like to type at high speeds, too. Now, I have a gadget to monitor exactly how fast I can hit the keys. This USB typing monitor tells you how fast you type (with a max speed of 260 words per minute), and exactly how many words you have typed. This is a necessity to anyone that is trying to prove their manhood because we all know that the faster you type, the bigger your penis is. And according to this, my wang is… uh… oh really… that slow, huh? Well, my typing speed isn’t important. Let’s just say I type faster than a retarded horse, so therefore, I must be hung like one. Well then, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a sports car, lots of bling, and some socks for stuffing… I mean… making my pants more “comfortable”.