Toys

Awesome Enema

Thumbnail image for Awesome Enema August 22, 2008

Forget clowns. Forget bounce houses. Forget chocolate fountains. Forget everything else you have ever considered to be good, clean fun. This is what a birthday party will need to be truly memorable. May I introduce a dream brought to life. The AirKick Water forces water out through a rocket nozzle directly under your soon-to-be-soiled seat [...]

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5 Second Stadium Toy is Stopwatch Minus Functionality

Thumbnail image for 5 Second Stadium Toy is Stopwatch Minus Functionality August 20, 2008

Asovision (most likely pronounced ASS-oh-vision) is the mastermind behind this new Olympics-inspired Quasi-Game.  The 5 Second Stadium Toy is basically a stopwatch without a screen displaying the passage of time.  Instead, there are just a couple of lights that let you know whether or not you have pressed the stop button at exactly the five [...]

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Tic-Tac-Toe For Alcoholics is Awesome, Makes Room Spin

Thumbnail image for Tic-Tac-Toe For Alcoholics is Awesome, Makes Room Spin August 18, 2008

Finally, it seems that Brando has come up with a game aimed towards me, the unemployed alcoholic who spends most of their day trying to come up with new ways to stave off boredom while simultaneously drinking themselves into oblivion (and of course writing the occasional article).  Say hello to Tic-Tac-Toe: The Drinking Game!  It’s [...]

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Family Guy/Star Wars Bobbleheads: Nerds and Collectors Rejoyce!

Thumbnail image for Family Guy/Star Wars Bobbleheads: Nerds and Collectors Rejoyce! March 12, 2008

Urban Outfitters (proprietors of all things hip, ironic, and kitsch), is now offering some cool bobble heads in honor of the Star Wars episode of Family Guy.  There are three models as of right now: Darth Stewie, ChewBrian, and Quag-3P0 (but I assume that if they sell well enough, there will be more to come).  [...]

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Guitar Hero Shirt Shows Off Your Star Power, Also Warrants Smack Upside The Head

Thumbnail image for Guitar Hero Shirt Shows Off Your Star Power, Also Warrants Smack Upside The Head February 25, 2008

This shirt features the Gibson SG design, complete with clicky strum piece and whammy bar. It challenges the Guitar Hero Air Guitar for the “how to show you’re obsessed with Guitar Hero in the lamest way, possible” award. With this, you can rock out (‘with your cock out’ is not recommended, and probably substantiates a [...]

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New Elmo Seeks To Destroy Childhood

Thumbnail image for New Elmo Seeks To Destroy Childhood February 19, 2008

This new Elmo toy debuted at the toy fair in New York City. It is the most life-like to-date. He dances, tells stories, and has automated responses to certain stimuli and words. I can say, with much certainty, this Elmo is at least as creepy as the guy presenting it. I would try as hard [...]

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