Oster Introduces Touch Screen Blender, Integrated MP3 Soon to Follow


in News

Touch Screen Blender

Beloved blender manufacturer Oster is bringing to market an entirely unnecessary upgrade to their line of blenders.  Say hello to the Oster Blender with eLume Touchscreen!  If all of those unsightly buttons and knobs on your current blender are an eyesore in your sleek, modern, touchable kitchen then Oster has some fantastic news for you.  If you enjoy your current blender and inhabit a dingy hovel, then you have another thing to make fun of!

“This Oster® blender with eLume™ touchscreen technology features an all-metal drive system for lasting durability. Its revolutionary ice crusher blade pulverizes ice and frozen fruit for thoroughly smooth drinks and concoctions. The 6-cup dishwasher-safe glass jar is thermal shock tested to withstand temperature changes and its 2-ounce filler cap doubles as an instant measuring cup.”

Translation:  It’s a blender.  At $70, I’m also guessing it’s not that great of a blender.  I’m not even sure that it could perform the function I thought it would when I first heard about it: touchscreen blending.  I’d much rather have a blender capable of blending something with a touchscreen, than actually having a touch screen on my blender.  I know that touch screens are the new hotness, but just because they sell phones doesn’t mean they’re going to sell blenders.  If I may give one word of advice to Oster, it would be this:  Stop.

<Crave>

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