Nestle Invents Machine to Verify That They Make Terrible Coffee


in Funny

Nestle Machine

In an entirely unnecessary leap forward in coffee taste testing technology that will surely end the company, Nestle announced that they have made a break through with their machine that supposedly has an accuracy level that nears that of a panel of professionally trained espresso tasters. While still in the early stages of development, Nestle plans to eventually use the machine for quality control. Such an underwhelming development in useless technology amazing invention forces us all to think about the likelihood of our jobs being replaced by almost-as-accurate machines and brings about the question: who the hell gets paid to taste test espresso and how could they possibly think there is any sort of job security in the “drink coffee for money” business? I believe that this is a job that does not require a fancy machine or an expensive degree in Brewed Beverages from North Dakota Taste Testing College; if you give me ten cups of Nestle coffee, I could identify all of them as terrible, terrible coffee.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

swag February 13, 2008 at 5:25 pm

You’re almost funny with this one. Parts I truly laughed at.

But then you take a turn and put on airs about the superiority of your own ignorance for how the world works, which should be even funnier… but it really isn’t in execution. You need to work on the delivery.

“Hey, did you hear about the automated machine that irradiates meat? Who the hell gets paid to inspect meat for harmful biological agents, and how could they possibly expect any job security in that?!”

sarah February 14, 2008 at 10:51 am

I think they beg the question, ‘who wants to get paid to taste nestle coffee?’ Inspect and taste are two different things. One doesnt require your mouth. Accept the sarcasm and move on dude. I thought it was funny.

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