National Geographic has gone too far. It’s one thing displaying the naughty bits of indigenous people, it’s another thing entirely to tell me that I’m the distant relative of this hideous beast. It’s enough being related to these people, now I have a whole other branch of my family tree to be ashamed of. Wasn’t Lucy enough for you guys? Couldn’t you have just stopped there?!?
This new “missing link” goes by the name of Ida… which I assume is short for “Ida hit that if I was 47 million years younger”. I guess her real name was just too long to be published in any scientific journals; we all know about their aversion to verbosity in academic literature.
Personally, I don’t really understand why this is the “missing link”. It looks much less like a human than Lucy. It looks more like some sort of dog with a rat tail (which looks a little more human than this guy with a rat tail). Scientists are saying that it’s the point in the evolutionary tree at which apes and lemurs diverged thus forming blah blah blah blah blah. I’ll be excited once they can produce a 1/2 human, 1/2 ape. And by produce, I do mean manufacture. I’ve been waiting my whole life to reenact Harry and the Hendersons with a real-life crime against nature.