Everyone’s favorite proprietor of things geeky, Thinkgeek, is now peddling a unique kind of ware. It goes by the name of Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets, and it is purported to cause things that taste sour or bitter to seem sweet. This product has caused geeks around the world to engage in things they’re calling “flavor tripping parties”. In these “parties”, a brood of pasty-faced, translucent-skinned geeks gather in some dank basement, consume this “miracle berry”, and proceed to eat things like lemons and spinach.
creepy exciting as these parties sound, I think this product lends iself to a much more sinsiter purpose: confusing toddlers. We’ve all seen the videos of babies eating lemons, now imagine feeding them miracle berry before you feed them lemons for the first time. Then, give them the ‘ole bait and switch, by feeding them lemons without miracle berry (results will be similar to those in the video above). Then give them miracle berry and lemons twice, and then lemons without miracle berry. You may even want to try this with other foods just to cause as much mental anguish as possible, and to teach your kids at an early age that people cannot be trusted…. and food is to be feared. A few years of this, and voila! You will will have a distrustful anorexic basketcase.
These things will set you back $15 + S&H for a pack of 10 tablets. A serving size is 1/2 of a tablet, so these little flavor trips will end up costing you about $1 per experience. Documented side effects include: Skin failure, hive mind, sissyness, palmbeard, and pinebreath.