Halitosis Detector is Honest, Hurtful

in Funny, Gadgets


Say hello to the most hurtful piece of technology you will ever pay $10 for. This device’s sole purpose is to inform you that you have bad breath. Apparently you blow into some sort of hole above the small LCD screen located on the face of the device. It then analyzes your breath, and tells you what you probably already know: your breath smells like hot garbage. These things were originally selling for $25, so when the price got slashed down to about $10, I had to buy one f0r every room in my house… which makes for a grand total of one breath analyzer. I live in a cardboard box, and steal power from the nearby homeless shelter to run this laptop. The shelter’s employees keep trying to get me to come in and shower, but I keep telling them: I already have a home, and her name is Sony. Oh, and I also think I figured out why it keeps telling me that my breath smells like hot garbage… it’s probably because 2 out of my 3 meals of the day actually do consist of hot garbage. The 3rd meal is cold garbage, but that doesn’t make your breath nearly as rank.


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