Sharper Image Files for Bankruptcy, Brookstone Reigns as Expensive Crap King

Whipped boyfriends and bored 12-year-olds everywhere mourn the loss of their mall sanctuary as Sharper Image files for bankruptcy. I am not sure how a company whose business model relies on $500 air purifiers and $5,000 massage chairs could possibly fail, but some how it has come to be. In an effort to restore journalistic integrity to the site, I conducted an interview with the second assistant manager at the local Brookstone, Tim. He had this to say when I asked him how he felt about Sharper Image going out of business:

I’m stoked.

Well, there you have it. I guess I will just have to find some place else to get my ridiculously overpriced yet wildly impractical Christmas gifts.